Churchill and the Witty Remarks

I do think that some of the best one line put downs were with Lady Astor and Winston Churchill…

Churchill is supposed to have told Lady Astor that having a woman in Parliament was like having one intrude on him in the bathroom, to which she retorted, “You’re not handsome enough to have such fears”.

Lady Astor apparently responded to a question from Churchill about what disguise he should wear to a masquerade ball by saying, “Why don’t you come sober, Prime Minister?”

Lady Astor said to Churchill, “If you were my husband, I’d poison your tea,” to which he responded, “Madam, if you were my wife, I’d drink it!”

Not forgetting of course the infinitely brilliant exchange at a party where Bessie Braddock walked up to Winston Churchill and announced in a loud voice “You are drunk Mr Churchill, you are very drunk, you are extremely drunk! ” His reply “Bessie you are ugly, you are very ugly, you are extremely ugly… but I shall be sober in the morning! ”

(This has apparently wrongly attributed to Lady Astor, including by me)

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